After our first date, I thought, this is it. This is absolutely it. After our second date I see the rest as a formality. They say when you know, you know. Can I know this soon? Or is it easy for me to jump ahead because it's just what I want to happen, and I'm ignoring the 10,000 complications and possible issues that could arise? Yes, it's easier and more natural than it's ever been in the past. We have so much in common, yet have complimentary differences. I'm all here for it, and I really see this panning out. At the same time I'm telling myself to calm the crap down, you've seen this human twice in person so let's pace ourselves. For the first time, really the first time I can see it panning out. I can see it working out. I've been saying for a couple years now that my type is a L engineer, older than me, at least 6', white and nerdy, a skier, hiker, and someone with some different interests so we can share something new with each other. There go all the boxes being checked. Most importantly I want someone who is kind and caring. A man who is a man, who cares, who is intentional, who wants a family. I'm very conservative, and I know it. I don't drink, I don't go out, I don't like people, I am intentionally very sheltered. Sans some catching up on classic ANTM and my bizzare Hoddie Allen dubstep musical preferences. If I'm honest, I don't see myself with someone who wants tattoos or motorcycles or to drink. Those things aren't bad, but they're not me. I'm okay with living a quiet, some would say mundane life because that's me. It's pure, it's simple, and it's all about being in nature and being in the mountains. For the first time I can see it panning out, because everything is aligning. It's all fitting into place. I tell myself, Christina, don't mess this up. Christina, give this all you have. Because I really think this is it, even though it's far too early to say so.
This year has been an embarrassment of riches. God's faithfulness has been incredibly overwhelming and outrageously good. All I have wanted, from the exact job, to the location, to the debt free, graduated self I am today has become a reality. I resonate with the idea that 'God helps people that help themselves'. I have worked hard, I have saved money, but it is by the grace of God that I am living the life I am today. In the overwhelming year that has included 2 new jobs (a promotion in the first), moving back to Colorado and being able to ski and hike every weekend, graduating with my MBA and celebrating in Disney, becoming debt free, and so many other small nuggets of blessing in-between, I can hardly fully appreciate all these life events. The celebrations and excitement have melded together into quite a year to remember. In the back of my mind, though, I kept thinking, this is it. All of it... except for that relationship thing. I wanted to meet a Coloradan; I wanted to wait until I was back. And then I waited until after my birthday, when everything began to calm down. And then I prayed for patience, trust, and action. I prayed for it to happen. My mantra has been across my phone background:
Faithful you have been, and faithful you will be.
The timing will happen. It will be right when it's right. And could that right have started on May 22? Or could this be a stepping stone so that I know what something more right feels like, without it actually being it? I am trying so hard to temper myself.
Faithful you have been, and faithful you will be.
If God has been so faithful in so many things, who am I to not trust Him now? Who am I to think this is up to me now, when he already knows His plans and His ways? And they are perfect indeed.
Faithful you have been, and faithful you will be.
This year has been an embarrassment of riches. God's faithfulness has been incredibly overwhelming and outrageously good. All I have wanted, from the exact job, to the location, to the debt free, graduated self I am today has become a reality. I resonate with the idea that 'God helps people that help themselves'. I have worked hard, I have saved money, but it is by the grace of God that I am living the life I am today. In the overwhelming year that has included 2 new jobs (a promotion in the first), moving back to Colorado and being able to ski and hike every weekend, graduating with my MBA and celebrating in Disney, becoming debt free, and so many other small nuggets of blessing in-between, I can hardly fully appreciate all these life events. The celebrations and excitement have melded together into quite a year to remember. In the back of my mind, though, I kept thinking, this is it. All of it... except for that relationship thing. I wanted to meet a Coloradan; I wanted to wait until I was back. And then I waited until after my birthday, when everything began to calm down. And then I prayed for patience, trust, and action. I prayed for it to happen. My mantra has been across my phone background:
Faithful you have been, and faithful you will be.
The timing will happen. It will be right when it's right. And could that right have started on May 22? Or could this be a stepping stone so that I know what something more right feels like, without it actually being it? I am trying so hard to temper myself.
Faithful you have been, and faithful you will be.
If God has been so faithful in so many things, who am I to not trust Him now? Who am I to think this is up to me now, when he already knows His plans and His ways? And they are perfect indeed.
Faithful you have been, and faithful you will be.